Things That Made Me Smile Today

- having an animal cracker-themed birthday snack for one of my students today

- seeing the grin that could melt your heart after one of my students got in trouble at recess...now why was I mad again?!

- singing the "Rules of the Classroom" rap with my students

- listening to Ben Folds Live in my car and singing lyrics at the top of my lungs

- dancing around my living room singing said lyrics to the hubs when I got home

- eating warm pumpkin pie

- watching my two adorable doggies lick themselves (and each other)

- Facebooking (i.e. talking to/looking at pictures of people I love)

- making plans to see friends in Louisville/Cincinnati this weekend (a silver lining even though I'm bummed that I can't go to Charlotte to see Ben Folds with my wonderful friend, K, because I have prior commitments at school and it's just too far to drive in a weekend)

- looking at pictures of my wonderful, sweet, happy students

-snuggling with my two adorable doggies

- managing to pry the hubs away from Halo: Reach long enough for me to get a back tickle (in a few minutes)

I have many things to be happy about!

a reminder that kindness still exists

This snippet in my life really resonated with me and I thought it was worth sharing.

The other night I was in Bowling Green for a training and I decided to go to the mall to see if I could do some Christmas shopping. I was checking out at Old Navy and I picked up these light- up, vibrating sensory toys they had in the clearance bin for one of my students. They were not working but all they need is a battery or two and they'll be good to go. They were $0.97 - I couldn't pass it up. I got to the counter and the teenage boy there struck up a conversation about the toys and I explained that I was getting them for a student and I had to get two, one as a backup for when she chewed up the first one. :) When he looked at me like I was crazy, I explained that I teach moderate/severe disabilities and my students sometimes put things in their mouths. Next thing I know my total goes from $50 to $34. I was like, "Huh?" He said, "Shh...don't say anything. If anyone asks, you're my sister. I think it's awesome what you do."

I was shocked. What a nice kid. Kindness really is still out there. I should remember that.

Quote of the Day

"Hate hurts the hater more'n the hated."
— Madeleine L'Engle

Adoption

What are your thoughts about adoption? I have been looking in to domestic and international adoptions a little bit and trying to learn a little more about them. I have also been researching options for financing such an adoption. There are some little boys at my school who were recently adopted from Russia which I think is a really great thing, but I was also wondering what are people's thoughts on adoptions in the United States. I just wish it wasn't so expensive. Gosh, there are so many positive things I would do if I had money...

I can never think of a good title for anything...

This has been such a long week. I know I've had good intentions to write in this blog a lot lately and I've failed miserably. I have got to be better. Writing is so cathartic and yet, you have to make time to do it which is always a challenge. I hope everyone is doing well. I am doing great aside from feeling like I've gained a hundred pounds from eating amazing food all summer and lounging around for two months. Yet it seems like it's only been a couple of weeks off since I've been in my classroom so much! I don't know what has taken me so long out there but I have been out there for hours upon hours and I'm still not ready. We have professional development starting Monday and then the students will be back on Thursday. I can NOT believe it's time for the kiddos again. I mean, on the one hand I am excited because I miss those little boogers in the summer. They are seriously a great deal of the joy in my life! On the other hand, I am not mentally ready to go, go, go just yet! I still have about a million things to do to be ready for those little children to come to school. Right now I am working on getting some notes together about the TEACCH method and the ABA-Verbal Behavior method. I am going to be leaning heavily on the latter for intensive instruction this year but I also build my classroom around the principles of the former, as well. So I'm trying to mesh these two methods, prepare materials, get organized, create a master schedule, create individual schedules....ah! It's all so overwhelming! :) It is good, though, to be back in a routine. That's some of my problem in the summer. It's so hard to do anything productive when you've got free time. It's so much easier to sit around refreshing Facebook and watching crappy TV shows and eating. Oh, there is so much eating that happens in the summer. I am going to get back on the proverbial wagon once school begins. I'm sure my waistline will appreciate it. One of the better things about this year is that I will not have to be worrying about graduate school while teaching. That will be fantastic! Also, I'm not going to lie. I'm excited about a slight pay raise. So there are lots of things to look forward to with the impending school year. Bryan will be graduating in May so that will definitely help our bank account. We are going to be doing a little more work to the house and hopefully we can plan and take an amazing vacation this next summer. I am trying to convince my friends K and J to go to Europe with Bryan and me. How cool would that be? Of course, it would require a lot of cash and lot of planning but we're still young! We don't have any extra responsibilities except for our doggie babies. Why shouldn't we, right? I love traveling so much and Bryan hasn't gotten the opportunity to go many places. He needs to experience the world and I want to do it with him! We're gonna start exploring the world by going to Chicago over Labor Day weekend with our friend E and possibly our other friend C who used to live there. That way he can show us around! Oh, and hopefully we can get E and C to fall in love and live happily ever after. :)

Oh, the possibilities!

A Poignant Perspective

A while back, my friend sent me a link to a blog she had stumbled upon while browsing the internet. This blog is written by an amazingly talented photographer and writer named Kelle Hampton. Kelle recently gave birth to a sweet, beautiful baby girl named Nella who just happens to have Down syndrome. If you have some time (and a few tissues) you should read her birth story. But in the meantime, I think her perspective on her daughter's diagnosis is so compelling and poignant. I only wish I felt this way about some of the challenges I've faced in my own life.

"On Down syndrome

The title of this post may surprise you. Because it surprises me. Because...I forget. The two words that felt so heavy months ago, like iron chains that shackled me and pulled me beneath waters that choked and suffocated me until I almost drowned. They're gone, those shackles. I float happily now, light and free, aware of its presence in our lives but...well, just that. Aware.

This is what I wanted. As I was scraping away layers of who I was months ago, discovering our new meaning, rearranging things in our life and finding a place for the new term to live in our spaces, I hoped I'd end here. That life would take center stage and Down syndrome would move to the back like a stage assitant whose name appears in small print at the end of the credits. I searched the Internet for families that did it like I wanted to and put band-aids on my heart when I found them...familes that moved on and loved life--the ones that you'd never know "it" happened to them unless you dug a little deeper. Families that were not defined by it. And it happened on its own. We became that family, the one I wanted to be.

But every once and awhile, it appears. Last night as she was playing, grasping toys and waving them in front of her. And her movements were a little choppy, up and down, up and down, pounding her forearm to her chest like a hammer. And Brett looks up at me and says, "Is that normal? That choppy movement? Or is that Down syndrome?" And for one tiny little second, my mind starts spinning. Is it normal? Did Lainey do it? What if it's not? And I want to Google it, but I don't know what to search. And I don't want to see what it says. And I laugh it off and go to bed but it's 6:00 right now and I'd be lying if I didn't say I woke up early and have let the bus hit me again. It could have been a light and easy hit, but no. I asked the driver to hit me hard. "Smack me real good so my body flings up in the air like a dummy and I hit the pavement hard on the way down," I tell him. And he obeys.

See, I don't usually think this way. In fact, I was commenting to a friend the other day that my acceptance of Down syndrome is much like her acceptance of having two boys. Like sometimes it will hit her for a moment that she never had a girl. And for one second it might be sad...that "I'll never know what it's like to have a girl" feeling...but then instantly comes this love for her boys and she smiles and moves on. The same argument could be made about only having girls and never knowing what it's like to have a boy. And that's just what it's like for me. Mostly I don't think about it. But sometimes, for one second it will hit me..."My daughter has Down syndrome," and my throat will start to tighten and for one second--one tiny, tiny second--it hurts, but right before it closes to the point of robbing my oxygen, it opens back up--as quick as it closed--and I breathe. "Yeah? So what. She has Down sydrome."

My friend might never know what it's like to have a girl. I might never know what it's like to have a boy. And I'll never know what it's like to have a Down-syndrome-less Nella. But there's a lot of things we'll never know. Every choice we make eliminates another. Random as it is, I'll never know what it's like to be married to an Asian man, an Australian man, a British man with a sexy Hugh Grant accent. I'll never know what it's like to get wasted on my 21st birthday. I'll never know what it's like to have triplets or to travel around the world before I get married. I'll never know what's like to be a natural blonde. And I'm not going to cry about any of it because there's a million random things I'm never going to know, and everyone's life is custom-made for them. And when I hear about moms who kiss their babies before running to their chemo appointments or kindergarteners who draw pictures of their daddy-less families and nonchalantly tell their teachers that their daddy's in heaven...well, I'll take my custom-made situation just as it is, thank you. Because it's beautiful and I am grateful." - Kelle Hampton

http://www.kellehampton.com/

A Special Baby

Lately I have been reading other blogs and I can't begin to tell you how emotional they have made me, especially the one about little Bennett. You should go and check out his story. He is an amazing fighter and he needs some serious thoughts & prayers if you have a few to spare. His family seems so fabulous for the things they have done for their adopted children. I can't imagine what they're going through but I keep them in my mind and heart and hope that their precious baby boy will be okay!

bad endings are disappointing

I watched a movie that I've been meaning to watch for a long time tonight. It's called Bella and it's the story of, well, it's really hard to describe but I guess it's about a friendship and a day these friends spend in NYC. I loved the whole movie - thought it was poignant, funny, sad, charming. But then the ENDING happened and I was like, "What the crap!?" I guess I must be dense because I really didn't get it. And speaking of endings that I didn't get initially, Lost felt like a big disappointment to me, too. I mean, I know everyone has explained that it's a character-centered show and you're supposed to be happy for the characters and how their lives turned out and blah blah blah. Okay. Yeah. I'm happy, I guess. But I want to know SO many other things that didn't make any sense. Here's what I want to know (just these TEENSY few little unanswered questions, that's all):

http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1936291

Poo on bad endings!

Lofty Aspirations

Now that I have finished graduate school, I have some lofty aspirations for my free time. One of those is writing more, hopefully a little every day. I want to start keeping a record of story ideas and other things to revisit in the future. I am hoping to actually have something creative written by the end of the summer. We'll see how that goes, especially considering that I have other plans for my nights and weekends including (but not limited to!) the following:

1.) Reading books! I am currently reading Lucky by Alice Sebold and Great Expectations by Charles Dickens. I plan to read several classics this summer (Catcher in the Rye, Of Mice and Men, possibly Animal Farm, perhaps re-read some oldies from high school like The Great Gatsby and Brave New World) as well as some mind-numbing namby-pamby crap! See, that's the beauty of my plan - I can do whatever I want and I just so happen to want to re-read the Twilight series and maybe a few other good, sickeningly sweet love stories!

2.) Looking up videos on You Tube! I have, of late, been finding and watching as many Wicked-related videos as possible, ranging from "The Wizard and I" as sung by 25 Elphabas to a contest to determine who is the best Fiyero (it's a guy named Sebastian). I have also been watching old videos of Les Miserables ("On My Own" with Lea Salonga as Eponine is the best you can find!) as well as searching for new singer/songwriters and then blasting their covers of Jasons Mraz and Derulo.

3.) Playing music! I haven't even brushed that guitar off in I can't remember when. My fingers are soft and no longer have callouses. I have forgotten how to play several chords and most of the lyrics to the songs I've written. But I will re-learn them, dang it, and it will be awesome!

4.) Working on my house! Whether it's painting the bathroom door that has had an obscene picture painted on it for about 11 months or taking care of the jungle of weeds and "flowers" in the back yard - I am excited to get this place looking presentable.

5.) Watching movies! My husband loves movies and laments the fact that I never want to watch movies with him because I am too busy. Alas, honey, I am too busy no more!!! We can watch Starship Troopers and The Notebook whenever we want now! Isn't it fantastic?

6.) Playing with my dogs! We are getting a fence this week and I can think of nothing I would like more than going out into the backyard to throw a frisbee for Bella and Gus and watch them chase it (I say "chase it" because Bella is scared of the darn thing when it falls to the ground and Gus can't get it in his little puggy mouth!). Also, maybe I can teach them how to really play frisbee...or at the very least some cool tricks. Eh. Maybe we'll just sit in the backyard and the dogs can chase birds...

7.) Watching TV shows! I have My So-Called Life, Freaks and Geeks, Ugly Betty, Dexter, Scrubs, Friends, and whatever else I can find on Netflix: Watch Instantly at my disposal! What have I been waiting for? That's right! Free time!!! And now I have it!

8.) Exercising! I can take walks. I can go for a run (yeah, right!). I can get on the elliptical. I can play the Wii. I can dance around my house while listening to Broadway recordings (most likely of the aforementioned). I could even try to get my husband out for Swingin' At The Jungle on Thursdays or, gasp, take a dancing class together. How cool would that be? Oh, the possibilities are endless! And it would actually be good for me.

9.) Being creative! I am excited to have time to do some creative things again. Not that I am a very creative person, of course (I'm not) but I could pick back up the knitting and give that another whirl. I could start crocheting again. I could write a few songs or poems or prose. I could finally make those scrapbooks for two of my friends that I've been meaning to make for about, oh, 4 years. I could get into decoupaging or even drawing, if I wanted to venture out a little bit. At the very least, I could use all the materials and cardboard I've accumulated to create some hands-on work tasks for my students for next year! All of these things make me excited to try again!

10.) Yard-saling and shopping at consignment shops! This is something I've really wanted to get into for a while but just didn't have the spare time on the weekends to pursue. But since school has been over I have been yard-saling like, 4 out of 6 of these last few weeks. It is so fun because it squelches my desire to shop and spend money and gives me a reason to feel like I'm doing nice things when I buy 25¢ Hello Kitty items for my friend's granddaughter or a book for a friend or my hubby. Can't beat it!

So there you have it, folks. The top things I plan on doing with my free time. I may add to this list as things arise. But so far I can check at least one of the things off my list.